Stockings & Suspenders
(Strange name I know, but it will become clear)
Fermentables:
5.00 kg Maris Otter
0.250 kg Caramalt
0.200 kg Wheat Malt
0.5 Kg home made medium Candi sugar (had this in the freezer from a while back) chucked in last 5 minutes
Hops:
Australian Galaxy and NZ Rakau Organic (both pellets)
6g of each FWH
12g of each 15 mins
6g of each in the hop back
Yeast: Nottingham
I'm going for 23L at 1054, around 30 IBU. Looking for a dry, very pale coloured beer.
Water treatment to Dry Pale Ale on Graham's water calculator
I had a bit of a brainwave this morning as I saw a pair of the wife's stockings in the bedroom. "I'll use some of those to put the pellets in" I thought to myself.....
First though, some shiny kit:

Plate chiller now with added shiny quick disconnects

Hop back with the same...

Nice sticky hop pellets from Craftbrewer. Great smell.

Into the wife's legwear they go. They're clean!

Grain bill

Mashed in, close enough for government work...

pH maybe a tab low 5.0 - 5.1 or so... must test the alkalinity of my water again.

First runnings. Pre boil gravity was 1041 which was exactly on target

Before I plugged it all together, I sterilised the plate chiller in the oven. When I took it out, I put a tab of sellotape on each of the chiller ports. Oh look.....there's one left on the output to the FV

Latest incarnation of pump, hopback and chiller setup. If you look closely at the input side of the hopback, you can see a bit of stocking (phwoaarrr)....I also used a cunningly crafted stocking bag to put the pellets in the hopback and act as a filter. I wonder if it will work....
Here's where the fun started. At the end of boil, I turned the chiller on.....and nothing came out. Feck. But it looked as it the wort was coming out of the hopback OK.....lucky it's all connected with the quick disconnects, eh?
Remember that tab of sellotape from earlier? Oh yes....how stupid am I ??
So, after losing a litre or two of wort faffing around I turn the pump on again, and....bingo. The stocking bag works well in the hopback!

1064? What's that all about? Ah....only 21litres in the FV. I diluted it with a couple more litres of boiled water and ended up with about 24l at 1054. It's not the clearest wort I've ever had, but it should do.
All tidied up, yeast pitched, aerated and put to bed at 19C to ferment....
One day soon, I'll have this kit sorted out and actually have a smooth brewday again!
I think I'll also order one of those reusable "hop sock" thingies from Craftbrewer next time I buy some hops from there.....the wife might get upset if I cut up all her stockings to brew with. The stockings do work pretty well to hold pellets in the hopback though.