Out I pop to my friendly LHBS, the quest being to find a can of Cooper's Stout and a kilo of medium spray malt, to make my second brew the eversofamous "Ditch's Stout".
Imagine my disappointment when, horror of horrors, the LHBS didn't have any Cooper's Stout in stock! This situation needed to be rectified, and fast, but such was my conviction that I clearly had to brew something right this minute, I ended up walking out of the shop with a can of Cooper's Dark and 500g of dark spray malt.
Rushing back home to check the sanity of my purchase against other people's experiences on JBK, and losing both the can and the packet of malt under the front seat of the car on the way, I realise that there's not a huge amount on the forum already specific to this kit.
Once dug from the depths of the car, along with three pens, one pound sixteen in loose change and a fossilised apple core, I made up the kit as best I know how - 500g dark spray malt, 500g glucose, bunged in the FV and topped up to 20 litres in anticipation of the renowned Cooper's yeast monster. Which made itself known nevertheless within 24 hours and resulted in an airing cupboard full of beer and a somewhat stern disapproval from the missus.
Fortunately the monster is as fast as it is angry; once receded and within 48 hours from pitching the SG had reduced from 1041 to 1014.
After paying my penance of laundering the mopping-up-towels and scrubbing the carpet, I was finally allowed back in the airing cupboard. Bottled half, with the remainder in the pressure barrel one week from pitching, with 80g total glucose for priming.
Not-so-swiftly, then, to the point of this post: it's now been five days from bottling/moving to secondary. I couldn't resist having a quick tastette earlier, and, egads, it ain't half bad already!
There's a fruity aroma, something like a cross between strawberries and slightly burnt apple crumble. To taste: initial bitterness, followed by a rounded sweetness that reminds me a bit of Hook Norton Old Hooky. Now I'm no Jilly Goolden so I may be talking utter rubbish but that's my two penn'oth at the moment.
It's still mighty cloudy but is already a great pint. Much better than my first brew. Maybe I shall have to drink this whilst I wait for the first one to get better...
... which brings me back to the same question that started this whole charade: "if I drink these together, what am I going to drink when they're finished?".
Fortunately the magic of planning has meant that I've ordered in a can of Cooper's Stout and the requisite medium spray malt for my next brew. Is there a way I can shrinkwrap the airing cupboard to make cleanup easier?

All in all, a great brew so far. Let's see what happens as it matures.