HELP! ive got 31 cucumbers to take wine with tomorrow!

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avtovaz

Re: HELP! ive got 31 cuxumbers to take wine with tomorrow!

Post by avtovaz » Sun Oct 22, 2017 10:03 pm

richard080561 wrote:
Sun Oct 22, 2017 9:57 pm
No one here has brewed cucumber wine but someone managed to use Google to find you a cucumber wine recipe, which you failed to do and then you call them stupid.
Don't expect to much help next time you ask a question.

no, i called someone stupid well before i got a recipe...

.. and how do you know no one here has brewed it??? im the first?

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Re: HELP! ive got 31 cucumbers to take wine with tomorrow!

Post by demig » Sun Oct 22, 2017 10:10 pm

avtovaz wrote:
Sun Oct 22, 2017 10:01 pm
dunno, i see that all 31 are fermenting quite well..


only thing is stupid is next time someone goes to tescos and sees cheep cucumbers; then googles "making with cheep cucumbers" the amount that "google" " cucumbers" has been used on this thread , there now is a high chance the googlebot may send them here...

people may never brew cucumbers again, and its all aamcle;s fault...


happy now aamcle, it kinda backfired... #-o
To be fair they'll probably google "making with cheap cucumbers" and not pull up this debacle at all.

Demig

avtovaz

Re: HELP! ive got 31 cucumbers to take wine with tomorrow!

Post by avtovaz » Sun Oct 22, 2017 10:12 pm

true..



So just incase, has anyone had any experiences with brewing cucumbers???


Only the non stupid reply please!

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Re: HELP! ive got 31 cuxumbers to take wine with tomorrow!

Post by richard080561 » Sun Oct 22, 2017 10:15 pm

avtovaz wrote:
Sun Oct 22, 2017 10:03 pm
richard080561 wrote:
Sun Oct 22, 2017 9:57 pm
No one here has brewed cucumber wine but someone managed to use Google to find you a cucumber wine recipe, which you failed to do and then you call them stupid.
Don't expect to much help next time you ask a question.
no, i called someone stupid well before i got a recipe...
and carried on after
... and how do you know no one here has brewed it??? im the first?
It was an assumption based on the lack of responses to the contrary
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Re: HELP! ive got 31 cucumbers to take wine with tomorrow!

Post by keith1664 » Sun Oct 22, 2017 10:56 pm

avtovaz wrote:
Sun Oct 22, 2017 10:12 pm
true..



So just incase, has anyone had any experiences with brewing cucumbers???


Only the non stupid reply please!

[-X
Brewing cucumbers?
Nope, never seen a cucumber do anything other than lie there looking green.. maybe they drink too much.
In or near Norwich? Interested in meeting up monthly to talk and drink beer? PM me for details.

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Re: HELP! ive got 31 cucumbers to take wine with tomorrow!

Post by raveymoo » Sun Oct 22, 2017 11:12 pm

[quote="avtovaz"]just been to tescos and they had cucumbers for £0.02 so i bought 31!

can anyone suggest how to brew for them please?

thanks[/quote]You have to take cucumbers with wine? Is this some new age alternative to medicine or something?

How can you then brew for them if you've taken them?

Let me guess, I'm stupid.

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Re: HELP! ive got 31 cuxumbers to take wine with tomorrow!

Post by IPA » Mon Oct 23, 2017 6:45 am

avtovaz wrote:
Sun Oct 22, 2017 9:44 pm
i was stood in tescos, looking at a mound of cheep cucumbers, and i had a quick look on google on my phone, saw that there was a bit of info, so i asked here on my phone in tescos, and then came home.

" look on google "

well, i already had.


I was hoping to get someone s experiences of brewing cucumbers.

It looks like no one has brewed cucumbers...


It does however look like there is a school somewhere for normal people to goto before joining forums, and at that school you learn to be stupid. It must have taken some time to be as stupid as some of the posts have been on here so far... i respect the time and effort put in!


Shame no one has spent the time brewing cucumbers instead ..

I didn't know that cucumbers went "cheep" I thought it was sparrows :lol: :lol: Sorry that was a cheap joke
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Re: HELP! ive got 31 cucumbers to take wine with tomorrow!

Post by Jambo » Mon Oct 23, 2017 8:39 am

One of the funniest threads I have read in a long time! I just checked my copy of 'Booze for Free' and even it doesn't have a recipe - that probably means it's pretty bad! ..or you're a pioneer.

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Re: HELP! ive got 31 cucumbers to take wine with tomorrow!

Post by Aleman » Mon Oct 23, 2017 10:35 am

There is a well known phrase, that gets used at chez aleman on occasion
Intelligence is knowing tomato is a fruit, wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

This can be reworded.

Intelligence is knowing cucumber is a 'fruit', (technically not, it's an expanded pericarp :D ) Wisdom is not trying to make wine from it! No matter how cheap they are!!!

You are basically fermenting a sugar and water solution with a bit of flavourless 'fruit', famous for 'repeating' when ingested. Go for it :lol:

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Re: HELP! ive got 31 cucumbers to take wine with tomorrow!

Post by Crastney » Mon Oct 23, 2017 10:56 am

I don't think it's too much of an assumption to think that you are Russian (your signatures says something along the lines of 'Russians are the best at everything. Fact.' or that's the general gist) and Russians are well known for turning any thing they can into a fermentable concoction of some sort, and then distilling it into vodka, so my first thought would be to check Russian brewing forums, where you're more likely to get a response. However expecting a response whilst your in the shop deciding if you should buy or not? We're good but we're not that quick.
Personally I'd suspect that cucumber wine would not taste much like anything, as cucumbers are almost flavourless anyway. But heh, they were cheap, so you've not lost much if you decide to clean drains with it.

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Re: HELP! ive got 31 cucumbers to take wine with tomorrow!

Post by IPA » Mon Oct 23, 2017 1:46 pm

Crastney wrote:
Mon Oct 23, 2017 10:56 am
I don't think it's too much of an assumption to think that you are Russian (your signatures says something along the lines of 'Russians are the best at everything. Fact.' or that's the general gist) and Russians are well known for turning any thing they can into a fermentable concoction of some sort, and then distilling it into vodka, so my first thought would be to check Russian brewing forums, where you're more likely to get a response. However expecting a response whilst your in the shop deciding if you should buy or not? We're good but we're not that quick.
Personally I'd suspect that cucumber wine would not taste much like anything, as cucumbers are almost flavourless anyway. But heh, they were cheap, so you've not lost much if you decide to clean drains with it.
No he said they were cheep =D>
"You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on." Dean Martin

avtovaz

Re: HELP! ive got 31 cucumbers to take wine with tomorrow!

Post by avtovaz » Mon Oct 23, 2017 5:20 pm

Aleman wrote:
Mon Oct 23, 2017 10:35 am
There is a well known phrase, that gets used at chez aleman on occasion
Intelligence is knowing tomato is a fruit, wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

This can be reworded.

Intelligence is knowing cucumber is a 'fruit', (technically not, it's an expanded pericarp :D ) Wisdom is not trying to make wine from it! No matter how cheap they are!!!

You are basically fermenting a sugar and water solution with a bit of flavourless 'fruit', famous for 'repeating' when ingested. Go for it :lol:

I dont usually like those sayings, but here is one for you;

give a man a match, and he will be warm one night...

Set a man of fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life...

:twisted:

avtovaz

Re: HELP! ive got 31 cucumbers to take wine with tomorrow!

Post by avtovaz » Mon Oct 23, 2017 5:25 pm

Crastney wrote:
Mon Oct 23, 2017 10:56 am
I don't think it's too much of an assumption to think that you are Russian (your signatures says something along the lines of 'Russians are the best at everything. Fact.' or that's the general gist) and Russians are well known for turning any thing they can into a fermentable concoction of some sort, and then distilling it into vodka, so my first thought would be to check Russian brewing forums, where you're more likely to get a response. However expecting a response whilst your in the shop deciding if you should buy or not? We're good but we're not that quick.
Personally I'd suspect that cucumber wine would not taste much like anything, as cucumbers are almost flavourless anyway. But heh, they were cheap, so you've not lost much if you decide to clean drains with it.
Well, not Russian; i just used to have a thing for Ladas, hence the user name if you google that too. Bit more to it than that but...

Wasnt expecting a response while i was in the shop, i was spending my 62p weather anyone on here said to or not. Ive heard of cucumber wine before, thought it would be one of those "done" wines. TBH, its worked out one of the best 62p;s ive spent in a long time..

avtovaz

Re: HELP! ive got 31 cucumbers to take wine with tomorrow!

Post by avtovaz » Mon Oct 23, 2017 5:26 pm

... and just to show i do care about cucumber wine now im a forum pioneer [fortunately not a pioneer in stupidity] here is the wine so far...


smells like cucumber...


Image

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Re: HELP! ive got 31 cucumbers to take wine with tomorrow!

Post by IPA » Mon Oct 23, 2017 5:58 pm

avtovaz wrote:
Mon Oct 23, 2017 5:25 pm
Crastney wrote:
Mon Oct 23, 2017 10:56 am
I don't think it's too much of an assumption to think that you are Russian (your signatures says something along the lines of 'Russians are the best at everything. Fact.' or that's the general gist) and Russians are well known for turning any thing they can into a fermentable concoction of some sort, and then distilling it into vodka, so my first thought would be to check Russian brewing forums, where you're more likely to get a response. However expecting a response whilst your in the shop deciding if you should buy or not? We're good but we're not that quick.
Personally I'd suspect that cucumber wine would not taste much like anything, as cucumbers are almost flavourless anyway. But heh, they were cheap, so you've not lost much if you decide to clean drains with it.
Well, not Russian; i just used to have a thing for Ladas, hence the user name
Is this really you ?
http://cdn-0.motor1.com/p/static/img/am ... l-lada.jpg
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