" Ditch's Stout " Master Class .....

[Ditch]

CJR! You said that poxy f**king " A " word!!!

Once more and I'll have to ask you to remove yourself to the Gun Room .....


Oh, and incidentally; I'd hold fire on the fish tank heaters, for now.

Ditch, the ever organic and innovative, has a sheet of thick as shit Kingspan in his store room.

Next thing to sort out is the Heat Mat. Lot Of struggle here! I'm struggling Anyway, as it happens, just now. So much going on. Precious little spare funds. So many demands

Life's a f**king bitch. Then, the one place ye can get a breakfast, once a week, shuts down! (And the people of the town are ever so glad ye didn't bring ye f**king pump action with ye that morning! )

But, I digress. But, it's My f**king thread. It's Friday. And ..... where the f**k were we?

Oh, yes. I'm working on am economical, two FV, cheap and simple to make, alternative to f**king fragile fish tank heaters. I've about had it with them. It's getting to be like a fish tank heaters grave yard round here. Bloody things

At least Ditch the Pioneering has gone forward and tested them to the hilt for you all



F**k me; Much more of this shit and I'll start believing in my own legend!

All just a bit of craic, lads. Never to be taken too seriously. Let's never forget that!

[CJR]

We always know to have a laugh mate, especially as I said the "A" word before you started fixing sights to your guns.

So far I haven't had a problem with my fishtank heater but we'll see what it's like because I've moved house and y'know how things go. It'll be interesting to see how the Kingspan goes. Keep us updated with costs, builds and the like.

As for being Friday, I believe that I have a pint and, Ditch being Ditch, you probably have one too.

[Ditch]

It'll be interesting to see how the Kingspan goes. Keep us updated with costs, builds and the like.

Actually, you guys could help me out here and we could make it a team effort. Only, I've hit a problem I just can't work round

This Outfit make 'High Power' Heat Mats. Size is right. Even the price is right. Only fly in the ointment is that a retailer told me he wouldn't trust these bad boys with plastic!

I mean; How f**kin hot can they be?! And, of course, I'd be using a quality thermostat.

Well, obviously, I wanted it straight from the horses mouth. They Make them. They'd Know their capabilities.

So, I sent them a note, asking. 'Are they okay with plastic buckets, please?' Using their on line enquiry form, look.

Week went by. No answer F**k this; Like, I've got to know (bit like the black bank robber in Dirty Harry) So, I Phone them ~ on my mobile. From Eire.

Talk to a young lady who tells me Stuart is the man I need to speak to. And he's not in the office. Can he call me? Well, knowing the code to reach Eire could have given Bletchley Park a run for its money, I asked if we might use email.

Certainly, says she. Stuarts addy is ..... So, I thank her and, feeling a little disappointed that, yet again I'd hit a wall on this one. I emailed Stuart. Over a f**king week ago!

Who's already ahead of me here? If I should have any more contact with this bunch of f**king clowns? The F word is going to, inevitably come into play I'm being f**ked around, and I don't react well to that.

Any of you got better interpersonal / anger management skills than me? Feel free to try getting through their f**king wall of silence over this issue. Then, let me know. Thanks

In return, of course, I'll bring you the blue print for my latest thing.

[themadhippy]

why are you going for a heat mat? if your making a kingspan box why not use a tubular heater,around 60 watts a foot

[Ditch]

why are you going for a heat mat?

Issue of sizing, Hip. Put simply? I know how big and how thick a heat mat is. So, I was able to draw up my cutting plan, according to the sheet of 'span I have here. I'm the Man with the Plan for the Span, in fact.

Tube is an unknown quantity. I'd have to buy it to try it.

I also like the idea of a fully plastic encased, thin, flat bottom surface to just wipe off with a damp cloth. Keeping it sweet and simple

Oh, and, on top of all that? It seems that these things (mats) can kick out some Serious temperatures for very little Watts. So, I know, virtually without doubt, they can warm my wort. I'd seriously need a thermostat to throttle them back. Or I'd be throwing tea bags in the boiling buckets and inventing Beer Tea

[Hector]

Ditch, have you looked at these types of heat mat..Habistat.used these for years for reptiles and one is underneath my non-ditch-as-I-stupidly-added-treacle-which-I-don't-like-Stout
http://www.reptiles.swelluk.com/reptile ... s-450.html

we often had under glass and plastic tanks. I think with heavier tanks we put in a spacer. Just checked with hubby...yes, with heavier tanks we put a spacer made of polystyrene...got from places that sell washing machines etc...this was about a half inch spacer before we put on the tank. I think with barrels you would get away with thin wood slats as spacers? I've also wrapped heat mats around tanks.

Ps we also added thermostats or put under just one side of tank

[CJR]

Any of you got better interpersonal / anger management skills than me? Feel free to try getting through their f**king wall of silence over this issue. Then, let me know. Thanks

In return, of course, I'll bring you the blue print for my latest thing.

I'll give it a go. No guarantees but lets see what happens on Monday.

[Ditch]

Hector; The the actual place that told me they can't be trusted, mate

I too have used Habistat Heat Mats (I used to keep amphibians) Never liked the things, frankly. Had this distinct mistrust of warmth I couldn't feel myself.

However, I'm now talking about the High Powered ones. Right side of that lot. Seems they can really kick out some serious heat? But, then; So can a 75 Watt fish tank heater ~ which one of mine is. And that rests against the inside of the FV. And Nothing Happens.

I just doubt these HP mats are going to melt f**king FV's bottoms out. Especially with a thermostat keeping it down to 21C. That said? WFT do I know? I was trying to ask the people who invented the damn things .....

[Ditch]

CJR; Top man. I wish you luck!

Thanks.

[Hector]

how odd! Same here, had amphibians and lizards for lots of years...including under plastic tanks...never had a single problem! I felt happier with them linked to a thermostat...so would have thought ok. ah well, let's see what they say!



Ps at the beginning of a fermentation...is the stout meant to taste ok at this stage or not???or normal not to be tasty until after fermentation period?


had a thought...what about those soil warming cables you can get...they can come with thermostats. I've got one...dear with thermostat but I just waited for sales.

[Ditch]

Hector; I don't think I've ever tasted my stuff at the start of fermentation, mate. No reason why or how I should do that. I just stir it. Chuck the heater and yeast in it. Get on with my life till I need a fresh bucket of beer.

That said? I can't see why it should taste in the least disagreeable though. The malt extract's diluted down, so it won't taste like a spoon full of molasses. And, it has the added sweetness of the dried malt. Could well taste pretty cool.


Soil Warming Cables? Too much messing about, mate. Imagine me having to wind them round two FV's. Then unwrap one, as I wanted that FV. Then lay the f**king thing out, very precisely, lest it burn out and probably start a fire, burning Me out ....

No. It's f**king winding me up enough just thinking about the drama! Look: I just want a heat pad. Put the FV on it. Take the FV off it. Wipe the shit off it with a damp J Cloth. Easy life!

[WalesAles]

Hector; I don't think I've ever tasted my stuff at the start of fermentation, mate.

Hello Ditch,
2 weeks ago you were drinking stuff that had only been in the FV for 4 days due to your supplier problems!
That seems pretty close to start of fermentation to me!
Still, we are talking Ditch`s Stout here and anything can happen.
WA

[Ditch]

Wales; Do you not take in Anything I explain here?

As ye read this, I'm downing stuff which I put together last Wednesday! There's even f**king film clips to prove it. And, as I find myself seemingly less able to give a flying f**k with each pint I drink of it; I don't need a glass float to tell me the heated yeast has worked its magic.

I'd try to reiterate, just for you, how this is Australian gear. Developed in a land with temperatures that would scare us to death to even f**king contemplate. This stuff (and its yeast) Laughs At 22C It flips off fusel's .....

Look: Pul Eeease don't try to apply muntons rules to this gear. Coopers kits are simply in a class of their own. In my opinion? Light years ahead of the masses

[CJR]

CJR; Top man. I wish you luck!

Thanks.

No problem, if it works then wonderful. I also noticed that no price is advertised, just a "trade quote" button. I'll try and get that too.

Also, why haven't you put a tap in the bottom of your FVs? It seems like a wonderful way to cut a corner than this syphoning tube sh**e.

[berts]

I have no idear how true this is but I here that a lot of brewers don't like heat mats because for some reason putting heat under the bottom of the yeast cake is not good, I have no f***ing clue weather its good or bad Ditch but I thought I would through it out there.