" Ditch's Stout " Master Class .....

[Ditch]

Five year old ....?! F**king Hell!!! That's just astonishing, to think that stuff could even exist in the world! (Take it easy. Just checking flight times! )

[Ditch]

Berts; I made a couple of kits today. That's decided me. Next time I'm in town ~ hopefully before I have to make another kit ~ I'm buying some cling film!

These lids are f**king Awful!!! Ye, literally, have to wrench the rim backwards. All the way round. I should have filmed it. I'll get a photo to better illustrate.

It's a bit like taking a bike tyre off with ye bare hands. It can't be doing the lid any good then, as it distorts the whole thing and visibly stresses the plastic. In effect, creating a load of future sites to harbour shit as the plastic begins to split.

Anyway, yeah; Completely opposed to Ditch's ethos of making shit as simple as possible. I don't want to stand there, struggling to manhandle these poxy lids, to get at those sneaky brown lines of disaster.

Add to that the simple point that there's just no f**king reason to put a solid lid on an FV, inside a bird and mammal proofed room anyway. I suspect you, too, may be a veteran of the damp towel days? Nothing F**king Happened!!!

Now we have people looking to buy their first ever kit ~ and swearing up, down and sideways that the FV absolutely has to have a tightly clamped on lid and a f**king Air Lock! Probably the same ones who ask what ever became of white Dog shit

[themadhippy]

Probably the same ones who ask what ever became of white Dog shit

What did happen to white dog shit?did it go the same way as hedge porn?

[berts]

I remember back in the 1970s the recommended advice with a beer kit was to put a towel over the beer bucket.
Anyway Ditch when you get your cling film try to get some wide enough to cover fv some cling film will not be wide enough.
Even the genuine coopers fv"s don't have an airlock any more

[Snipersunset]

First batch of this just gone into the fermenter, smells lovely, tastes good too

Cheers

[Ditch]

What ever took ye so long ....?

[Snipersunset]

Ditch wrote:
What ever took ye so long ....?



I apologise for taking so long to get the brew going, I won't let it happen again, already get the next two batches in the post!!

And I guarantee it'll be drunk in a much more timely fashion than it took to get it made

[Ditch]

Anyway Ditch when you get your cling film try to get some wide enough to cover fv some cling film will not be wide enough.

Lo and behold, Berts! Today, I went to my kitchen cupboard for some lost thing. Boosh! There's my roll of cling film! And, I'm due to get a couple in tomorrow

This stuff isn't wide enough to do a drum skin job on an FV. No way. It's just standard width. But, I have absolutely no problem with that and shall just be laying two 'sides' across my FV's. Then a turn or two round the top, outside, to hold them on, against the Spew.

Obviously, the gasses and foam making up the spew will exit and ooze ~ as is their way. My only concern is Pesticle, learning to bite the cling film, as she harvests the Malty Goodness from off it.

She likes licking the spew from my FV's. I just don't want her ripping the CF off and getting her head in there! Paralytic pissed Pesticle? That could prove challenging!

Anyway, I'll see how it goes and report back

[Ditch]

Anyway, I'll see how it goes and report back .....

Nope! NOPE! NOPE! NOPE!!! What f**king devils spawn is this " Cling Film " ?!

My stuff was just a couple of inches short of covering the entire FV in one shot. Not to matter. I unfurled another length and lay that over the first. Then, I reeled a length right round the outside of the FV. Binding down the covering sheets. So far, so good.

Then, preparing to do the same to the next FV, I scratched at the edge of the reel of cling film. It obligingly came up. I scratched some more. I peeled. It started 'ripping', an inch from the end ....?!

I scratched. I peered. I remembered my glasses were in the other room. I dug at it! I swore. I cursed all Antipodemia and their f**king cling film! I got my knife out and had a mare!!!

That shit's in the fire pit now!

Might invest in a pack of towels .....

[Fastline]

Im drinking my first batch of Almost Ditches Stout, I used a dewalt battery Drill to mix it up, which was just acceptable

I bottled the beer

Tried it day one and it was lovely

Its getting even better day by day

I put some in the fridge and that seems to kill some of the flavour a bit

I'm at work right now going to head home and crack one open it is gorgeous stuff and so quick to make

Im new to this brewing lark so friends and work colleagues are keen to try some of my beer, I gave them some of my Bottled ditches stout today, one of them is going to just compare it to extra cold guiness im sure, Which other than being a dark liquid is about as close as it gets

I used 100 Grams of brewing sugar cant remember what the chemist call it, anyway yeah dissolved in a cup full of boiling water chucked in the bottling bucket

Id say you could add a little more sugar when bottling its by no means a carbonated pint not that i think it would be any better for it either

cant see this one lasting long so got another kit, could probably do with another fv keep one on the go all the time

Ditch do you do any other kits or are you settled on your stout

[Ditch]

Ditch do you do any other kits or are you settled on your stout

First, Fastline, let me thank you for one of the better posts this thread has ever received You've clearly paid attention and have given some free thought of ye own to the whole thing.

In a word; Ye've Added to the thread. Thanks


Do I do any other kits? Yes, sir. Just so happens I have, in my store room, as I type, three Stout kits and two Dark Ale kits. See, I order six kits a month. Only, Shane might ~ once in a blue moon ~ run low on Coopers Stout. If that ever happens? Absolutely no problemmo. I'm more than happy to chuck in a couple of Darks, to make up my quota.

This time was one such rare event. I got four stout and two dark. What an absolute treat it'll be, to remind myself how differently lovely that dark stuff is. And it is; Believe me. I see it a bit like having a take away. A rare event. But glorious in its tangent from the norm. To be looked forward to too ~ When ones norm rolls on for months, unbroken.

So, yeah. Ditch is looking forward to a Dark treat, some time in the following weeks

[Fastline]

Do you use the same method and ingredients in the dark Ale as the stout

[Ditch]

Yes, mate. Absolutely. Strangely though; No body's started calling it " Ditch's Dark "

Seriously though; It really is a nice drop of stuff. Probably nice pretty much how ever it's put together.

[Snipersunset]

Put my first attempt at ditch's in the barrel today , had a pint to see how it was coming along and the second and third tasted just as good as the first. Beer straight from the fv is my kind of brewing, Batch two should be on next week

Cheers

[Ditch]

Good man! Now, don't be shy of trying a pint every day. Ye'll see how rapidly it changes. Good gets better!