" Ditch's Stout " Master Class .....

[Ditch]

*Actually that is a serious question. Why change the temperature of the fermentation part way through?

He was probably off his head on the fumes alone from this one!


Hey, and lads; If I could Only film sh!t in my store room? I have one that's kicked off inside of twenty four hours of pitching, and the damn thing's spewing its ring in there!

[WalesAles]

I thought there might be a rapid reply!
I`m going to have a pint of it! Ooooooh really brave! ( Mrs Ales gone to bed early) Then let`s see some Jibber jabber! Here I go! Oggie, Oggie, Oggie, Oy, Oy, Oy! OMFG Please help me!
WA
Tazzy,
I put the heater off because it reached 1010 and I thought why waste more electric! You know what this stuff is like. It makes itself and morphes into whatever it wants to.
WA

[WalesAles]

Hey, and lads; If I could Only film sh!t in my store room?
Film it the Ditch!
WA

[Ditch]

Faark me! A man who turns a fifty watt fish tank heater off, to save money?!?

Listen, mate; If things are That bad, maybe we could have a whip round for ye?

[Ditch]

Hey, and lads; If I could Only film sh!t in my store room?
Film it the Ditch!
WA

Behave! Go cuddle up to the wife!

I can only take stills, mate. Need flash indoors, see? We've all seen my photo's. But this escape artist would make some cracking, moving, footage!

[WalesAles]

You want to whip me round? Why, What have I done, I only said `bottling`, Please don`t hurt me.

[Ditch]

..... Andy?! Get in here, mate, FFS! We've got one on my best stuff, look!

[WalesAles]

Couldn`t do the pint Had 1/2 instead, think it might be tooooo much tweaked Sundew Golden Ale and the Innes & Gunn that I had consumed earlier! Ho Hum! Off to bed then, up at 4.30am for a nice day in work thinking of my next brew!
Blah, Blah, Blah! Jibber Jabber Jibber Jabber. S$it I better get up the Golden Ladder to my bed.
WA

[WalesAles]

[img]<a%20href="http://s733.photobucket.com/user/paulhe ... .jpg"/></a>[/img]
Hello Everyone,
Just bottled the `3 Gall Stout a la Ditch`. This stuff is AWESOME! 1/2 inch syphon tube took it into the bottling bucket in less than 2 minutes! Sucking on the syphon whilst I was bent over to transfer it, the taste was great, two big swigs, stood up, stout coming out of my nose! OMG! Bottled all the beer whilst keeping one bottle to sip on. Ditch, your forgetful mistake of not filling your FV to five galls has opened up a new beer for us to enjoy! Promised myself six pints of this tonight after just consuming three pints of Aldi Tramp Juice Cider. No Jibber Jabber, I don`t think I`ll be back on here tonight. Please pray for me!
WA

[WalesAles]

As you can see (or not) I can`t even get my photo`s to show! Ditch will come to my rescue, I`m sure!
WA

[Ditch]

Ditch can rescue photo's, mate. But, too much of that Special gear and you'll be beyond redemption!

Is f**king gorgeous though, isn't it?

[WalesAles]

Thank`s Ditch,
This stuff is Bloody lovely mun! Just opened a bottle and there is sediment on the bottom already! Ditch, if you are drinking this from the FV, Which I believe you are, you must be full of all that lovely sediment! Got to go now, clean my stuff and taste this gear!
My daughter said to me earlier as I was bottling this stuff `shouldn`t this all be sterile? You`ve kissed the cat, you`re drinking cider and `3 Gall Ditch`s Stout`, smoking Cigars and sucking on the syphon tube that the Kittens have been playing on`. Oh Yeah, Forgot about all that!
WA

[Ditch]

WA; I honestly think there's more bollocks talked about cleanliness in this game than any other aspect.

Yes. We Must start off clean as a whistle. But, once fermentation kicks off? It'd be a hardy thing that could live amongst all that CO2 sh!t.

And once the beer's made? Hell; I leave mine in the FV. Lid cracked wide open. Syphon tube hooked over the rim. I simply swan in there with my manky glass and turn the little tap before hooking it back.

I drink my first to my last pint that way. Then, I just put the empty (but heaving) FV to one side.

Nothing Happens!!!

I'm probably breaking every rule in the 'experts' book! Only, I don't read their f**king books!

My one guiding light is that men were making beer while living in mud huts. Where was their 'Star San'? But, they did alright. And so am I

[WalesAles]

Hello,
Finished cleaning my gear whilst drinking `3 gall stout`. Funny as hell, ONLY had three pints of the beautiful nectar, but as I knelt down to swill the FV, For some reason I fell onto my back, rather strange actually because when I was down there I thought OMFG If Ditch and the boys could see me now! Mrs Ales saw me giggling on the floor on my back and she said`I suppose you`re going to tell those pissheads on that bloody computer now are you! Well what more can I say! Oggie Oggie Oggie OY OY OY
WA

[Ditch]

Just be f**king thankful ye don't have a bloody horse to make a spectacle of yeself on!