Very philosophical PeeBee, but if I may plagiarize Hamlet's words to a great friend and supporter, "There are more things in Heaven and Earth, PeeBee, than are dreamt of in your philosophy". Of course, you are right, there are many things a brewer doesn't need to know about water to be able to brew good beer. However, with the plethora of opinions and modern communication, inevitably there exists at the tap of a finger much that doesn't apply to that reader or is simply incorrect. The dilemma is, how to determine the right course without learning more than should be necessary.
Being described as devilish I accept, as at times thinking that way to highlight a point. Saintly as a description of my patience, Hopefully I'll bring that to mind when in difficulty finding the right answer and words to help. My hope is to help others as I was helped here and other sources.
Went away last week and on our first morning my wife reported difficulty getting the soap out of her hair and from her skin. I told her the water was soft while at home it was hard. Afterwards she used less shampoo and soap, and rinsed more. A true happening.
There also was a small brewery, with a bar attached and some 5 or 6 beers on offer. Some had "hazy and unfined" on their pump clips and others not so marked, but even those did not pull as what I would call bright. I asked the young barman what hops were used, but he didn't know as he had just started. Later another arrived to confessed being one of two brewers, but couldn't remember what hops were in a beer I wished to order. The pump clip was marked Styrian hops after the name together with 3.6% ABV, which is at the lower limit for a pale beer to be thrilling, but it was watery, maybe muddy could be added to that, and whatever Styrian hops they might have been, they were indistinct. There's a knack to treating water, soft or hard, and we in Britain have waters that can be treated, particularly when compared with many other Nations.
After Napoleon was defeated, Britain had a large Navy, so pensionable personnel were sent to explore the globe and make a return on their cost. One project was a Northwest Passage, the best known were by
Franklin, who commanded expeditions by both land and sea. On land they would test water to find salt water to chart the extent of the ocean and
once found water so hard, it wouldn't make tea. (These expedition accounts can be found on Gutenberg.) Today we know that land as a part of Canada, the western limitation we know as Alaska, then a colony of Russia defended with Russian small arms and beyond the limit of Franklins remit.
Today we get much information on liquor treatment from USA where commercial beers are produced differently to most of Europe's, including Britain. Understanding of treating ones own brewing liquor doesn't necessarily translate to other waters. Imagine advice from a brewer living in a municipality with a domestic water supply softened by ion exchange. Potentially 95% of the mineral content of such a supply will be sodium chloride, sodium sulphate and sodium bicarbonate. We might struggle to understand alkalinity in terms of calcium carbonate, but someone in that situation might choose bicarbonate and advise others do the same, and succeed.
After the American Civil War there was rush to open The West, with plans to open six new railroads. A wise brewer in St Louis, where barley was expensive but corn and rice were grown locally and used as cheap partial substitutes, had a plan to put ice cold beer onto those trains. The plan was a great success and rarely did the number of major US brewers exceed 40, with much ale supplied in Northeastern States imported from Britain. During the period of prohibition, St Louis' refrigeration system was turned to ice cream production. Another brewery in Milwaukee survived producing cheese although I have also read it produced yeast for bakers.
After prohibition, those two would compete, each claiming to make the clearer beer, I remember such adverts in postwar years of Reader's Digests. Funny? Or maybe just me to say clarity was then a priority. The King of beers' claim was longer maturation, that which made Milwaukee famous went into decline when it was said their finings included plastic or some similar substance. Live beer and isinglass might yet catch on.
Just asked my wife her thoughts on soft water. She didn't like it, even when using less soap because she didn't feel as clean as after washing in our hard water.
Without patience, life becomes difficult and the sooner it's finished, the better.