I have taken a step forward now...
(those who now my posts I believe I can remedy the medicinal twang by not using VWP every clean, rather a thin bleach solution and by using sodium metabisulphate after rinsing - eternal thanks to Daab, I shall pay closer attention to your tutorials in future)
...and splashed the cash on a set-up from H&G!

My intention is to do some extract brews (time constraints rather than anything else) to get up my handling of hops and procedures when moving large quantities of hot wort, before moving at a later date to the dark side as so many call it (All Grain brewing). This weekend is perfect timing as the wife is away on a hen weekend (ha ha, Butlins in Bognor - the Stags went to Portugal!!!). So with her away no risk of an ASBO(Behaviour = Brewing).
ESB
2kg Pale Male Extract
150g Crushed Crystal Malt
1kg soft brown sugar
75g EKG full boil
10g EKG @ flame out
10g dry hop
5g irish moss
It's just the starter today, and with the kind people at Parcelforce smacking my Wyeast pack early on it's travels down from Darlington I'm off to a flyer. I'm gonna brew tomorrow, and have made up a 2L starter this afternoon. It'll give the yeast 24hrs to multiply.
Here's what I did for all those who love piccies, I know I do!
Starter Ingredients - 200g spraymalt, 2L water

Don't forget a pinch of Yeast Vit.

Boil it all up for 10 mins

Cool it down again

It's cooling quick, anybody recognize these bits? Is this cold-break?

Cool enough to go into sanitized 5L bottle, finish cooling under tap

Down to yeast orgy temp

My bag baby, funny that Fullers Yeast sells a lot like like Fullers beer....not really funny.

The inside of my bag baby.....uuurrrggghhh. Swish it round, it's all good stuff

The union

Put the lid on and shake it, vent any gas, shake it again, vent any gas, shake it a bit more.....dee da de daa de daa, etc. Put it somewhere 20°C and wait 'til tomorrow.

WAIT!
You don't get all this without any questions...you know me better than that!
1. I've got 2 1.5kg tins of extract. So I'm thinking of upping everything in the recipe by 1/3 and brewing more - don't want to waste anything, any probs with this?
2. How long shall I make the boil? Have heard 90 or 60 mins, what do you think and what if any changes to hopping would this mean?
3. I've got both Irish Moss and Whirlfloc tabs. Never used either, they do the same right? Which to use?
4. 10g sounds a paltry amount to put in my only monstrous muslin bag for dry hopping after primary (think it's a grain bag really). What do you think about dry hopping, how can I do this better, or will the aroma get through happily do you think.
Thanks anyone.