" Ditch's Stout " Master Class .....

[Ditch]

Wales; I have never fallen, naked or otherwise, off my horse. Even after the consumption of 3GS.

I can only, therefore, suggest you borrow a horse. Guzzle some. Strip. Mount. Slip. Drop.

Get that filmed and just, please, don't pollute this thread with it

Meanwhile; Big's to Hip. I can't wait to make the clip he's inspired in me, tomorrow!

[Ditch]

Meanwhile; Big's to Hip. I can't wait to make the clip he's inspired in me, tomorrow!

F**k it! Weather was bleak and the light was abysmal. Couldn't have shot shit, today. Never mind. Next, bright, say I get; I'll do it.

I promise it'll be a lot lighter than watching a drunk, naked, middle aged Welshman falling off a f**king horse!

[SiMania]

Tonight I finished reading this thread and put my first Ditch's into the fv.

I used the same ingredients Similar method except I used a balloon whisk instead of the drill paddle, I work in IT, my drill is as good as my DIY in general.

It's in the spare room/office sitting in a trug warmed by a fish tank heater. Tomorrow I'll be working in the room and hopefully it'll smell lovely.

[themadhippy]

I promise it'll be a lot lighter than watching a drunk, naked, middle aged Welshman falling off a f**king horse!

does it involve a clay pigeon trap,a shot gun and an airlock?

[Ditch]

Far too astute!

But, no ..... I don't own a clay pigeon trap!

[tazzymutt]

Far too astute!

But, no ..... I don't own a clay pigeon trap!

So you do own an airlock?

Happy brewing,


Ian.

[Ditch]

Of course I do! For when I ever get round to making some wine. In These f**kers .....

[SiMania]

About midday today I checked the fv and not much was happening, a thermometer into the trug water revealed that the aquarium heater was f%&#ed. A quick trip through to the pet shop and I'm back home for tea,£20 lighter and now have a steady 21c in the fv and some brains growing inside.

[Ditch]

Sim ....! I'm So F**kin Sorry, mate! Ye must've thought I was a right one, ignoring ye like that?!

Sorry, mate. Not At All. I've just been so busy ..... read ye post, yesterday, and got whisked away ..... Never thought to check back up the thread, today.

Anyway, yes; If ye doing it in a 'Living Space'? Probably fair to put the FV inside a catcher. Though, personally? Dependent on the ambient temperature of the room? I'd probably be as happy to leave the trug initially dry. Literally just using is as a spew catcher.

Shit like this doesn't matter to me, of course. My spot is old canvas over old concrete. Sloping towards more old concrete. And my floor licking Dogs! One of whom even relishes licking the dried up spew scum from the outside of the FV's. Loves malt, she does

But, yeah; Carpet or laminate? Be f**ked on ye first go!

How much do you get through, Sim? Got another FV? How ye thinking to store / dispense this one?

[SiMania]

While it is a living (and working when I'm here) space, I am a tight Scotsman so the heating is only on for a few hours a day, at SWMBO's insistence. I did an American Pale Ale last month and it fermented at 18 degrees the entire time, it's a little hotter now so might put my next one (planning ahead!) into the trug without the water. I did a Landlord extract that spewed everywhere in January, I had planned for it and had towels and bath mats in place so the carpet is still clean.

I ferment it in the corner of my office/spare room which is locked most times, I don't think my dog would be able to get out the trug if he got in, and my 2 year old son would probably get in about it just because it'd make a big old mess.

Just got one FV on the go, I'm 3-4 pints and couple of whiskies at home a couple of time a week, the rest of the time I'm working away drinking overpriced piss water in hotels on company expenses or down the pub watching football.

I've got a king keg I got on freecycle recently that this is going into, I might bottle a few so I can take some down to my brother's at the end of the month for his birthday, he was born on St Patrick's day so a decent stout is fitting. Bottles are easy to take round to my Dad in exchange for him doing my DIY.

It's spewing now, there's about 17 litres in there and it's just reached the hole in the lid where the airlock and bung are supposed to go......not in my setup though.

[Ditch]

Feel free to try getting through their f**king wall of silence over this issue. Then, let me know. Thanks.

I'll give it a go. No guarantees but lets see what happens on Monday.

And That was a week ago ..........

[SiMania]

This gear doesn't half ferment quickly. After the initial spew which reached the top of the fv, It calmed down and there's just an inch or so of krausen. Thinking it had stuck I took a sample for the hydrometer. It's just over 1.010! Had a taste too, definitely tastes like a four day old stout.

[CJR]

Feel free to try getting through their f**king wall of silence over this issue. Then, let me know. Thanks.

I'll give it a go. No guarantees but lets see what happens on Monday.

And That was a week ago ..........

Boss decided to piss off up the line to leave me and colleague to run brewery ourselves. Ain't forgotten about it, crap just got in the way...

[Ditch]

Sorry, mate. What I was suggesting was that ye'd contacted them, on the Monday, and had, seemingly, met with the same wall of silence.

[Ditch]

Well, This should be interesting!

Today, I made up a couple more kits. Frankly? I was Very distracted (No worries. Just too many things going on at once) and I managed to realise One cock up:

FV 5. I topped it off to four gallons, when it hit me; I hadn't put a crushie in that water!

F**k! What's a man to do? I asked Ditch. Ditch figured that, as the chloramines in some tap water halted fermentation by f**king with the yeast? F**k it! No yeast in there yet! Chuck the crushie into the malt and water mix in that FV!

So, that's what I did then. Let's wait and see how # 5 comes out.


Feeling, perhaps, a little liberated, from That experience. I, somewhat randomly, decided I'd throw all caution to the over draft. (Maybe I was just half pissed by now?)

What ever. I simply pulled the heater out of FV # 3 ~ the one I've been drinking from. The one the pint before me's just come out of. Fine pint! And, considering how no harm had befallen the gear in # 3, I dumped it straight into # 6.

How's That for ballsy, on the edge practice? F**k all the plagiarised, handed down from book to book, " It Will happen ~ Unless ye use an air lock!!! " bullshit.

Year after year. Little by little. Push. Push. Push. Push those parameters. Ditch Shitter will bring you The Truth