" Ditch's Stout " Master Class .....

[Exiled Bradfordian]

Fingers crossed ditch!

[WalesAles]

Okay.
Fluval heater's in it. Yeast is in it.

AHA! I know why it tastes of TCP, You haven`t put the Coopers Stout Kit in it!

WA

[6470zzy]

Wally; A Coopers Stout kit would cost me €14.95, in Eire. That's before delivery.

I expect that'll sound pretty outrageous? But, as said; You live in the city they produce it. I'm halfway round the world. And it doesn't just teleport itself here

You are still doing all right, I pay $18, which comes to €15.91 Then again I am lucky enough to not have to pay for shipping.

[Ditch]

Ozzy; Shane's pretty good with the shipping, to be honest. Fiver a throw.

Now, considering I buy a months worth ~ six kits, complete with dried malts ~ at a time? (That's as much as a man wants to lift) And for a fiver? I wish he sold canaries and turtles, at those delivery rates!

[Ditch]

Well, lads; I'm finally sat here and supping a pint of my own stuff again!

I'll not deny; I wouldn't give this to my new neighbours. Maybe it's the week or so spent on Karpacki? But, this just doesn't taste coffee and chocolate. I'm sure that ghost of TCP is actually just in my mind ..... Considering I've been bricking it all week, I could now probably detect TCP in a glass of spring water

On reflection then; I think I'll put it down to the FV's. I just don't see what else it could be. Shitter is that I'm not ordering again till the end of the month now. And I still have five more kits to make my way through. Then I'll stitch two new FV's to my order.

Never mind. I have my two least used FV's out in the store room. Ones with taps on. Hate them. But, I'm weathering a storm, so .....

Just hope I end up pissed, tonight! It's like Soap, when ye drink all night and nothing happens!

[themadhippy]

It's like Soap, when ye drink all night and nothing happens!

apart from a stinking headache

[Ditch]

I'm pissed, Hip!!!

Stuff tastes fine. And I've just spent twenty minutes trying to write a proper and considered post, elsewhere. Completely f**king gave up!

Bed, presently. Next job is to make more.

F**k Karpackie. That's money I could far better spend on cages and canaries!

[rorymullan]

Wally; A Coopers Stout kit would cost me €14.95, in Eire. That's before delivery.

I expect that'll sound pretty outrageous? But, as said; You live in the city they produce it. I'm halfway round the world. And it doesn't just teleport itself here

Wow, that's an unbelievable price. The supply chain is certainly adding some markup to that.

Do you have local producers to supply similar kits?

Prior to myself going all grain I would use two Coopers stout kits (commonly referred to in Aus. as a toucan brew) plus a little dry malt extract and some hops to produce a 20 litre batch of stout. I can't see that taking off where you live, even though it produces a nice beer.

I bet that in reverse when we use Thomas Fawcett, or Bairds Maris Otter that we pay bucket loads more. A 25kg sack would cost me $65.00 or €45.00 roughly.

Cheers,

Wally

25kg sack would fair between €25-35 depending on where you buy. We have local suppliers alright, Muntons, but there as expensive as coopers.Cheapest kit would be around €10.

Have you ever tried the Muntons stouts ditch? How'd the coopers compare. I'm sorry to say I'm yet to try it!

[Ditch]

Have you ever tried the Muntons stouts ditch?

Wouldn't want anything to do with it, mate.

[Ditch]

Well ..... Today, having taken a tiny sip of the last bucket I made ~ Instantly recognising it as pure poison: Too late. I wished to hell I had some mouth wash to hand! (This was probably about the fifth out of six I've put straight down the f**king drain! ) I steeled myself for a taste of the one I put on last week .....

Thank F**k I'll be getting amongst that one tonight!

So, what have we? Well, I've now just about narrowed it down to the FV's and FTH's. Either or both.

Last brew I made and got to drink, I made in a relatively little used FV and put my Fluval heater in it. That worked.

Thinking it was aged FV's then, I put the other remaining FTH in an identically little used FV. And made myself wish I wasn't born when tasting the result today.

The brew I'll be enjoying tonight was made with the Fluval in a brand new, previously unused FV.

See? Bottom line is that the Fluval works every time. No matter where I put it. My baleful glare is upon that other FTH.

My next plan, in all honesty, is to see that this stuff's fermented out to a worthwhile level. Then keg it. Clean the FV and get another the f**k in there! Bang the Fluval in it and pray again.

Obviously though; This sort of shit just can't go on. I Really need to sort out a whole new method of force fermenting my kits through. I still have my sheet of Kingspan and my electric blanket. I just need that thermostat thing. Time and space.

Have a mate coming over, next week. He's going to take a lot of stuff away. That'll give me some space .....

[Ditch]

My next plan, in all honesty, is to see that this stuff's fermented out to a worthwhile level. Then keg it. Clean the FV and get another the f**k in there! Bang the Fluval in it and pray again.

Which I've just done. All the while enjoying the stuff I've been drinking from the FV and have just kegged, in order to free up the new FV again.

Extremely noticeable how, having switched off the FTH last night, in readiness for todays operation, this beer is now freezing cold and tastes about as good as a f**king pub bought Guinness! I really must sort out some sort of heat mat, or something, to keep my brews warm in their FV's / BK's as I drink them. I couldn't offer anyone this stuff


And now to the main point of this posting: My new FV. This only need concern any Irish lads who might be out to buy a new FV.

It seems that ~ due to something about the current exchange rates (These things are way above my head) Shane, of the Home Brew Company, IE / UK has stopped importing Youngs FV's into Eire.

Instead, ye'll now receive the type I got the other week. Here's a shot I took at the time, for direct comparison:

As ye see then, it's clearly a squatter bucket than we're used to. And, no; It doesn't have a handle, like we're used to, either. Instead, it has moulded grips at either side. Ye need to pick it up with both hands then.

Unless ye happen to have an old Youngs type handle knocking about? In which case, that'll fit and appears to bear the weight. But, it then gets in the way of the lid and needs taking off to get the lid off.

And that lid ..... F**king thing. It has a nasty and ~ to my mind ~ completely unnecessary groove cut round the outer edge of it. As if we didn't have enough shit with cleaning the inner lip of our Youngs'?

But, if ye thought getting a scrubbing brushes bristles into the inner lip of a Youngs was a drama? Just look at what This f**ker has in store for us ....!

Oh, and here's the top side of the lids rim ..... Why?!?

Right. Ye couldn't f**king make this up!!! All those delicious little compartments. Just waiting for that famous 'Spew'. When all that malty goodness will get in there, and stick like shit to a blanket. And we'll have to poke and scrub and try to winkle it out of not one, seamless run of lid lip. But hundreds of separate, tiny f**king compartments! My god, how I'm looking forward to this!

What about the outside? Notice how void of markings it is? No brand name. No decorative bits. No graduation scale?

Well, truth to tell, there is a graduation scale. It's a bit of paper, stuck to the outside. Just didn't think to turn the FV round to show it.

Fact is, I don't use them anyway. I have a mark on my Jerry Can that lets me know four gallons is going into my FV's anyway. So I'm covered. Just a heads up though, should ye be used to watching the side of ye FV's.


So, there we have it. I did say to Shane that I'd run it past him, before I posted about this new situation. But, then, I reflected that that would smack of censorship Since when have I ever volunteered to let Anyone have a say in my saying what I have to say? So, naah, f**k it. There's what I figured I'd tell ye.

What to do? I dunno. It's not my place to advise others about such shit. I'm just reviewing a product.

Will I be buying another of these FV's, now that I know what to expect? Will I f**k as like!

Would I be willing to pay more, for a Youngs FV? Of course I would! Shane can't control the exchange rates of the global economy. I sure as shit can't! And this thing's making my beer making hard work. As we all know, from this thread; That is anathema to Ditch!

In fact, this thing reminds me of islam. It's patently trying to reverse the f**king clock and push us back into the dark ages!

Horrible f**king thing.

[DaveOfNorway]

Phew well over the last few days ive been reading every post on this thread!
I have to say ive really enjoyed it and by the time I got past 10% of it I went out and get everything I need to make some of this great sounding stout!

I really admire the honesty you have given in this thread Ditch as well as all the great information on how to do this.

I made a stirrer myself out of a plastic coathanger, which I use for degassing of wine and I used that to mix all of this up. Heres a video link for those interested in this:- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SMwq3TpkqCE
It worked a treat and it took over 5 hours for the bubbles to die down enough for me to throw in the yeast!
Even at this stage the brew mix smelt amazing. It ended up at 21L because I made abit of a bad calculation when adding but I guess this wont matter so much!
I am using a brewers version of the fishtank heater that is keeping the brew between 20-22. I live in Norway these days and right now the temps are forever changing in my brewing room which has limited heating.
Im now on day 4 of the brew and the fermentation has been very impressive but there has been no spew yet... Im ready for it.. I have put the fv into a waste plastic sack...seems to help the heater also , which is nice.

I hope your bad brew problems get resolved Ditch and I look forward to sharing my brewing results with you on this awesome thread!

[BarnsleyBrewer]

You ever tried a wine fermenter with airlock Ditch? That's all I use .

[Ditch]

Dave: Hullo, mate. Un f**king believable! Ye called Dave and ye (presumably? An ex pat brit) living in Norway? Be damned!

Do ye know we have an ex pat on here, living in Norway ..... Name's Dave!!! Couldn't make that up, could ye?!

Anyway, yeah; Glad ye enjoyed reading the thread. Be a bitch if ye'd just found it increasingly tedious, and stuck with it to the bitter end, just to end up embittered.

When ye mentioned making a stirrer out of a plastic coat hanger, I wondered WTF ye were on about. I was probably slaughtered though. Hence I never attempted to reply.

I'm fine now though. And, reading ye post again? " Plastic coat hanger? Pfffftt! Bloody easy! Obvious how ye'd do that. " See now why pissed people shouldn't drive?

What I can't work out ~ nor get to the video of, because I'm downloading a film ~ is this " DeGassing Wine " stuff. Never heard of that before. I'll check out ye film, later. Don't want to turn this into a wine thread though. People have enough to contend with here.

" It took over 5 hours for the bubbles to die down enough for me to throw in the yeast! "

What's that all about? I sling my yeast in as soon as I've humped the FV in there and got the heater in. Doesn't bother me, or the yeast, that it gets chucked at an eight inch deep head of foamy bubbles.

I shouldn't worry shit about the extra litre either. I gauge my own water by eye. Somewhere between two arbitrary labels on my JC.

20/22, in wildly up and down temp's? I'd suggest this is why it never spewed. A good spew does require optimum conditions. Well oxygenated FV and a good, steady, 'high' temp.

..... Forgive me. I've just woken up! Exhausting few days. I'll return to this presently.

Beddy byes for Ditch, right now. Completely f**ked.

[Deebee]

Dave: Hullo, mate. Un f**king believable! Ye called Dave and ye (presumably? An ex pat brit) living in Norway? Be damned!

Do ye know we have an ex pat on here, living in Norway ..... Name's Dave!!! Couldn't make that up, could ye?!
.

And that would be me!

I live in Kristiansund though Dave. A bit further North than you.
Strangely enough my brew partner is an ex pat from just outside Belfast. Met his Norwegian missus in the next vLley to where i met mine... and his name is..... Dave.

Norwegian women must have a Dave fetish☺